The End of Free Music
A modern tradergy

Act 1 Scene 1

[The scene: - The cooperate hub of the MPA, Inside the offices of the MPA Chairman a crisis unfolds]

MPA Chairman: Oh shit, It looks like we haven’t got enough zero's at the end of our back balances, what are we going to do?

MPA Ass licker: Well master [Sniff] Have you ever heard of tabs?

Chairman: You mean like the one i have at Melissa’s sex shop?

Ass-licker: No sir, As in a musical tab's.

Chairman: What? No, Of course not! What do you take me for? Someone who actually pays attention to music?!?! I just take the money for god's sakes! I leave it to brown noses such as you to actually tell me about my job.

Ass-Licker: Well Overlord, if we get rid of these fabricated monstrosities then these 'Musicians' will have to buy books and we can make much more money- teeheeheehee!

Chairman: BRILLIANT!!! I love it, I’ve got an erection just thinking about the money!

[The Chairman gets up and starts striding around, making most of the bored present look up with glee, hopeful of recognition, however one man at the back had his head in his hands.]

Ex-Musician: But Sir, Please, millions depend on these tabs for their starting place in the world of music, its because of these tabs that so many instruments are sold and we have such a good and wide range of musicians.

Chairman: Nonsense! Just look at my David, he bought the drums and has got all his music legally, and dear old Josie? She has been playing the violin for years and has never committed one act of piracy. [Sweat breaks out on the chairman’s forehead, shouts] My children are good, happy children!

[The board nod’s in agreement.]

Ex-Musician:…When was the last time you saw your children?

Chairman: Why I sent them their three hundred dollar pocket money just last week and…

Ex-Musician: Not in a while then.

Chairman: What does it matter, there happy!

[A mummer of agreement runs through the board]

Ex-Musician: This is stupid! [Stands up] you will bury the industry just so you can make a bit more money, you’re talking about the expressional development of million's!!!

Ass-licker: [Interrupts] Thompson, What have i told you about outbursts? And what have I told you about long words that dear Mr Chairman has learnt yet. I’m afraid I’m going to have you fired.

[Ass-liker clears throat]

Ass-liker: Mr Chairman?

[Chairman not paying attention]

Chairman:  Oh yes? Yes! Of course! Timpson!

Thompson: Thompson.

Chairman: Your Fired! [He smiles back to the rest of the board] Now then friends, what about this erection were all sharing!

[As the scene is drawn to a close we see Thompson, and ex musician who wanted to make the music industry a better place marching out of the room with the rest of the board laughing at him]